Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Financial folderol

The Paulson-Bernanke duo (how about "Paulson-Bernanke Treasury Kings" as a rock group name?) says we have to give Wall Street 700+ billion NOW, dammit, and no oversight by congress. They are smart enough to take care of things by themselves. Sure, they'll get the best return on the taxpayers buck.
How come they weren't smart enough to see this coming? I wanna know.

I'd have more confidence in Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska, and you know the trouble he has. Only person in Alaska more corrupt than the current Republican VP candidate. But you have to admit he knows how to handle money.

Here's my live comments on GWB's speech:

The Bushman says we are in the midst of a financial crisis. Thanks George, I wasn't sure.
He wants to"supply" urgently needed money.
How does one do that? Oh, he takes out of my wallet.

We got here because all the money came in from foreign investors, made it easier to get credit. Credit for houses, tuition, new business.
Expectations that home values would continue to rise led to this.
Fall in value led to defaults.
Basically he is saying that greed, especially Wall Street greed, led to this situation.
But he doesn't want to come out and really say it. That would be un-capitalist.
I wonder who wrote this up for him. I don't believe he wrote it himself.
George is explaining this is not normal circumstance. That's why he is abandoning his Republican ideals for the moment. There is a spirit of cooperation between presidency and congress—uh-huh.

Rescue plan should protect taxpayers.
Whoa, he just said CEOs who fscked up should not get a financial windfall. I think thats new. Also un-Republican. I don't think he means it tho.

Basically George thinks the money will actually flow back to treasury when things settle down.
Not good enough. If I, as a taxpayer are supporting this, I want a corporate jet, at least.

My prediction for the future: Republicans will become socialists (tho they won't say that). Democrats will become financial reactionaries.

George spoke in platitudes for the most part.
Much gas, no solids.

Biggest financial crisis since 1930, some say since 1776, and he talked for 14 minutes and no details. But he did give a good Cliff notes account of the onset of this crisis, tho he really avoided assigning blame properly.

I've been hearing that even Republicans are gagging on swallowing this 700 bil plan.
In the meantime, Warren Buffet is putting a lot of moola into Goldman-Sachs.
And it's helping. He runs Berkshire-Hathaway, and the name Berkshire calls to me. I live near the Berkshires. He can buy me out. I'm cheap. 500 grand will do me.

Seems like most economists are having trouble with this, seems like this crisis has done what no amount of bi-partisanship preaching has done, the left and the right are sleeping with the center and enjoying group financial regulatory sex as never before.
Geez, you probably didn't need that visual.

Man, if even Republicans have a problem with this, I'm scared.

Brad Sherman of Cal., Dem., this congressman wants someone to co-sign the checks.
We need a good plan and it will have a moderate risk.

Sen. Bob Bennet of Utah, concerned about "realities of the situation." We need to act dramatically and rapidly, can take another day or two, but that's it. He's a republican and is against putting in all kinds of amendments that might delay things. Presumably amendments that would protect the taxpayer. Apologist for the administration.

Folks, the Sh!!t is hitting the fan. You better figure out what you have that's good for barter 'cause your money is going down in value, you betcha.

Paula Poundstone on "Wait, wait, don't tell me" (you can download past programs from NPR) had a great line. They were talking about how with all the news coverage of the presidential candidates, old George has fallen off the radar screen, doesn't seem so relevant. Paula said, "Now that the dollar has fallen so far in value, we can put his picture on it."

Right on.

Ya know, we have all kinds of hackers breaking into computers, sending malware, stealing information, raising hell for the fun of it. How come none of them has ever thought that breaking into the bank accounts of over-paid CEOs and re-distributing the money would be a fun idea?
Oops, I didn't mean that, honest, T-men, I was just kidding. I'm not really a socialist, anti-Christ loving anarchist. It's just a pose. I need excitement in my life, I'm really a tie-wearing, white-shirted, red-suspendered anally repressed republican at heart.

If they don't believe that:
My next post will be from Leavenworth, or maybe Guantanamo Bay.

Guantanamo Bay, water-boarding paradise! Only the best water-boarders come here to show their stuff. It's not torture—it's a challenge!

Eh, I've got to go and put up more sandbags around my bunker. I'm either going to be fighting off the gov't. or citizens hungry for my cans of Spaghetti-O's. In any case, I have work to do.

If either of my loyal readers haven't been arrested yet, good night to you.

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