Saturday, August 23, 2008

Alright, already!

Okay, gleek is kicking my butt, a political blogger has to post more often, she says. Also something about cycles too. Bicycles? Unicycles?
I never claimed to be a political poster. I blog about whatever is pissing me off at the moment. It's just that politicians piss me off most of the time.

Since I have been on sabbatical (Hey if Obama can take a vacation in the middle of a campaign, I can too), as it were, cruising the web looking for work, futzing around with my computer, and also painting nudes (haven't been blissing out much, tho, nudes or no nudes) the McCain-Obama prizefight has been heating up. First there was the argument about who actually used the race card first.
"You did!"
"Did not, you did!"
"No, you did!"
C'mon two white, mostly photogenic female airheads pictured with a black guy? Naw, says the McCain camp, we weren't trying to push any racial buttons.

Actually Paris H. came out of this looking pretty good. McCain, I hear, actually endorsed her energy plan. Hell, it looks better than McCains'. If you haven't seen her "campaign ad" check it out here:
The fact that she shows a sense of humor about herself is rather endearing. The bathing suit also helps.
I predict Paris Hilton will be McCain's running mate. You heard it here first. Hey, I predicted McCain would get the nomination (well, he will) back when he was still borrowing money from Bruno the Squeeze to keep his campaign rolling. You know his rabid right wing will hate it if he picks anyone smelling the least bit liberal, and he'll never get the disaffected Hillary supporters if he picks an avowed anti-abortion, keep 'em barefoot and pregnant type for his VP.
Paris Hilton will confound all of them. She hasn't had any other constructive thoughts that would bother the right-wingers, and they might see her as a minatory example for their children ("believe in Jesus and hate birth control or you'll end up like her"). Uh, well, maybe that's not exactly the way it would work.
Anyway, she is more comfortable in front of the camera than Johnny Mac and you can bet no one will want to miss her speeches. And as for the Hillary crowd, why there would be a woman riding shotgun next to the heart-attack seat. Soon as McCain realizes the real extent of the mess ol' George left him, he'll have a myocardial infarction, and Paris will be president. She'll do alright. You can bet Putin will be right over to look into her eyes and see into her soul. Maybe she can make as big a fool out of him as he did of our George.

By the way George, what do you think about Georgia? I'll come back to that.

We're still waiting for Britney Spears' health care plan.

In the meantime, Obama showed his campaign strategy skills by taking a vacation. A VACATION?! WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS!?

It was the first time since the New Hampshire primary that McCain could campaign without being upstaged by that slick talker. And you can bet a vacation in Hawaii really endeared B.O. (heh, i see a possible Republican dirty ad campaign in Barack's initials) to those blue collar guys who think he's out of touch with their lives.
"Yeah, he really knows what it is to slog to work every day, punching the clock and getting two weeks off a year to take the wife and the screaming kids on a road trip to Disneyworld. I'll vote for him."
Or maybe going off to Deer Tick Lake for a little camping trip. That's always relaxing. The kids love missing their TV shows and the missus loves scraping out cast iron pots with sand to clean them. Really solidifies family values.
Wait, I'm getting off topic here. Where was I?

Oh yeah, Obama went to Hawaii. But now he's back and rested and ready to rejoin the fray. In the meantime Johnny Mac's ratings have improved. Bad Obama!
But the convention is coming up, and Obama seems to be taking spectacle instruction from the Chinese. He's going to do his acceptance speech in a stadium. Maybe he'll hire the Chinese to do some fireworks for him.
And now he's chosen Joe Biden for his VP. All the commentators on NPR are saying what a good choice ol' Joe is (well, they would). Everyone is relieved he didn't pick (or, apparently, even consider–a smart move) Hillary. What I know about Joe Biden is there was some foofaraw long ago about him plagiarizing someone for a speech or something like that. Obama was also accused recently of plagiarism. I think I see a pattern here.

Well, Mr. B is supposed to supplement the areas where Mr. O (there's those two initials again!) has little experience. If Mr. Biden plagiarizes from Machiavelli, we may get somewhere.
I don't see Obama, with or without Joe Biden, thinking he can look into Putin's soul.

Which brings me to George and Georgia. Hey George, your buddy Vladimir just took over another country. Sound like a familiar idea? Now the Georgians are supposed to have provoked the Russia (Russia's story) over the little territorial tiff about South Ossetia. I suppose the Georgians could have called up Vlad on the phone and said hey, let's talk, but they went all military instead. Well, Vlad or his minions did try to poison Saakashvili at one time, so there is a little resentment there.
Anyway, the Russia decided to bisect the country for a while just to show what it could do. And do without any opposition from "the West." Otherwise known as "the ineffectual."

Ukraine, Poland, even Germany and Austria, are just a little too close to the Russia to act in too bellicose a manner, as in sending troops to defend Georgia, for instance. These countries depend on the good ol' US of A for support (moral or military, preferably military). And where is the US of A? Bogged down in Iraq of course.
Old Vlad Putin knows this, which is why he can thumb his nose at the world and harrass any abutting country he wants to. Tho I bet he won't go into Afghanistan again any time soon. He'll just watch "the west" fumble around there and enjoy himself.
This situation brought to you by our current President.
"I approved this mess and my name is George W. Bush."

I understand rattlesnakes now. Such a relief to release so much venom.

'Nite everyone. (both of you).

1 comment:

jayna said...

OMG Mudgie why arent you in Denver? the bloggers are all getting soused, and also the journalists and Ted Kennedy is doing a cameo for goddsake! major boozer!

o sigh! it's only a paper moon floatin' over a cardboard sea -