Monday, January 12, 2009

Grumble potpourri

First off, I want to know why I can watch (a day late of course) Jon Stewart on my computer without commercials, but when I want to watch Rachel Maddow, I have to sit thru those annoying "bear with toilet paper stuck to his butt" commercials.
People are just trying to be too cute with something that's made for wiping, uh, the rear.

I suppose some sympathy should be shown to the poor advertising people charged with creating ads for this product. "omigod, not another poop-paper account. What can we do that hasn't been done?"
They should look to Andy Warhol. I have heard he was supposed to do a commercial for Coke, but what he submitted was a thirty second shot of a bottle of coke on a table, and in the last two seconds or so, he entered thru a door, grabbed the bottle and shoved it at the camera and said "Eat Coke."

This idea needs some adjustment considering the product: one couldn't use the word "eat" in this context without creating enemies. How about someone (preferably someone famous—perhaps Mickey Rourke?) coming into the room, grabbing the roll of TP and shouting "Wipe it!"
Wouldn't that get your attention more effectively than cute cartoon bears?

How'd I get off on this? I'm so easily distracted.

I see that a judge let Bernie Madoff (I think that's pronounced Made- off, as in "made off with all your money") stay out on bail, in spite of his attempt to distribute all his assets to relatives and friends so he wouldn't be forced to give them up to reimburse his victims. Really. Nicky Noaccount who knocks over a liquor store for $185 to buy drugs doesn't get off on bail. But the guy who conned who knows how many millions out of people gets to stay in his cushy apartment and enjoy his evening cocktail while scheming to send his jewelry into hiding.

I think I may have mentioned in this blog that I am not a violent person. But the idea of public floggings is starting to look attractive.

And the Democrats finally decided to let Roland Burris into the Senate club. Why did they make such a fuss in the first place? To separate themselves from Rod "alien haircut" Blagojevich, who inconveniently is also a Democrat. They painted themselves into a corner last week and now they have footprints all over the floor.

Oh yes, our soon to be thankfully departed president gave his "last press conference" today. So what does that make? his second or third in this last four years?

No shoes were thrown. Reporters are so much more civilized here. So much more gutless. Or blind—they have probably been dazzled by the press secretary, Dana Perino. Hey, even I think she's a dish and a sweetie. Even if she does work for GWB.

Anyhoo (I got distracted again) Georgie "admitted to some mistakes" according to reports. But not the big ones, no sir. Phony war, violation of constitutional rights, torture—nuh-uh, those weren't mistakes.
Oh, that "Mission Accomplished" banner— that was a biggie.

He makes a big deal out of not drinking anymore, but frankly, I think he would have been a better president soused.

The Golden Globes awards were given. Kate Winslet won a couple, and showed up in one of those "Jesus, how does that thing stay up?" strapless dresses. Not that I am complaining. And Tina Fey, showing a most un-Sarah Palinish d├ęcolletage. A good night for aging lechers.
I actually didn't get to see the Golden Globes, not having television up here in the boondocks, but I got to see the pictures on the New York Times website. Occasionally I do regret not having TV.

Mickey Rourke also showed up, looking like, well, Mickey Rourke. That is, not that good. Maybe it's just as well i don't have good TV reception .

Enough. I'm going to go to Hell for wasting peoples' time this way.
cheers.

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